A promise to myself

Hello lovely readers, I hope you are doing well. I took a couple of weeks off blogging and it's honestly felt like forever. As I type away I realise just how much I've missed it. Things in my life got a little busy and I knew I had to take a little step back. Over these past few days I've taken things slower and focused more on self-care, which has helped me learn a lot. In fact, I've had a big realisation that I thought would be good to share with you all. 

I had this realisation when walking to the train station. One of those random thoughts that pass through your mind when you're just going through the day. It was that some of the best things that have happened in my life have come from just going with what felt right in the moment. No plan, no analysis, just going with something I connected with. 

For example, in my final year of university I had an amazing internship experience, which led me to an amazing graduate job a few months later. I wasn't looking for an internship. It came about from getting bored of studying in the library, finding a email about internships, reading one that sounded fun and applying. No overanalysing about how to create the perfect CV or whether the role would suit me. Just going for it and seeing what would happen. A week later I had an interview. With little time to prepare I just decided to head into the room and be the best version of me and somehow I got the role. I look back in shock that a bland CV and no preparation landed me such an amazing opportunity. 

This throwback helped me realise a big weakness of mine. I'm the type of person to put so much pressure on myself to be the best, be going somewhere and constantly achieving goals.  But this method isn't working. I am an ambitious and hard working individual but this constant cycle isn't working for me. I'm burnt out, tired and confused most of the time. I'm not really living and enjoying life. Instead I'm focusing on the future, when I think I'll be happy. The truth is I'm letting the now disappear and once I get to the future of having achieved my goals I know there will be the next thing, and the next. 

When I applied for the internship I wasn't in this cycle. I was being present, being me. That's what works.

For this reason I have decided to make a promise to myself. To trust myself more by listening to my intuition and not the ego self that is led by society norms. I want to follow the path that's laid out for me as a individual instead of chasing a path I think I should be on. 

I don't have to stress about finding a job I love right now. I can focus on enjoying the job I have and being the best me in that role even though I know it's not my dream. I don't have to write blogs every week and have a constant social media presence. At the end of the day this blog is an enjoyment for me, the chance to connect and help other fellow females, this doesn't require a strict schedule. It's such a relief to type this. 

I wanted to share this with you because I think this can be so common with us twenty-somethings, in fact I think all humans in general, to pressurise ourselves to fit into society. To be normal. To be successful, the list goes on...

I want you to recognise how you might be missing out on life and know that it's okay to not have everything figured out. I heard someone say the other day that your twenties are for being lost and finding things out. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. It reminded me that it's okay to not know where I want to be right now, it's actually normal to be lost but not everyone talks about this. I hope my story can lift a weight of your shoulders and inspire you to work on being the best version of YOU.

I'd love to know where you are right now in life. Are you lost, or have you found your happiness? Please leave a comment below or connect with me on social media.

Until next time,

Mx